This #BuJo trend is making me miss using diaries/planners/journals.

I remember how when I was in maybe Grade 3 our teacher asked us to start a diary. I enjoyed writing daily entries in this small pastel notebook I got from my aunt that I continued doing it even after the whole exercise. That's how my love affair with diaries/planners/journals started, I think.

When I was in second year high school, I started a diary. I just sewed a couple of spring notebooks and made that my diary. Apart from the usual recap of what happened that day, I also liked writing movie reviews of all these cool movies I saw on Cinemax, plus I also logged in dreams since I dreamed a lot during that time and clearly remembered my dreams.

One time, I wrote this pretty vivid dream about having sex with a male classmate, complete with detailed descriptions of his body parts, what we did, and how much I enjoyed it. I didn't get to interpret it and so it didn't mean anything to me; I tore the page and threw it. After a week or so, my mother cornered me and kept on bugging me, asking me if there was something I wanted to share. She went on and on and on, not getting anything from me -- because I had nothing to share. And then she showed me this un-crumpled piece of paper and I was like aaahhh. I explained myself and she eventually believed that I didn't have sex with a male classmate on our dining table.

When I was in third year high school, I stopped keeping diaries and replaced them with organizers. And while everyone called them organizers, my friends and I called ours filofaxes. My filofax was this woven brown leather type and I loved it so much because it was classy and one of a kind. I didn't see it in any National Book Store; minana ko pa siya sa tita ko.

I loved it so much that apart from keeping notes and appointments there (who gets appointments in high school???), I made it into some sort of scrapbook. I punched holes on index cards and used them as fillers, and designed them by doodling on them, scribbling favorite lines from favorite songs, and posting magazine cutouts of people like Monica (as in For You I Will Monica), Kulay, Alanis Morissette, and The Crow.

In college, I went back to keeping a diary but for some reason I was more comfortable calling it a journal. A schoolmate gave me this medium-sized hardbound notebook that had one of those famous paintings as cover art. I remember being extra angsty and dramatic during that schoolyear so I had all these short but very inspired journal entries. I had all these... feels, so I had a lot to write; I had that journal with me every single day at school.

Later on in college, I stopped writing all these dramatic journal entries because I started writing for the Philippine Daily Inquirer. I channeled all my creativity there. I was writing all these stories for them. I was attending all these events and interviewing all these people. I was so busy I just had to get myself a planner.

I remember being so excited getting a new one each year. I tried different sizes and page layouts but my favorite was when the space for each day was long since I liked putting a lot of tasks and to-do's. That brought me so much fulfillment because that meant I was being busy and productive. I got a high every time I had to check an item from my to-do list for the day.

I also had favorite pens. For the longest time I was okay with a black Pilot sign pen. I graduated to a purple one and when I ran out of it I had to settle for purple ballpens. When I grew older, the type of color of the pen didn't matter anymore.

Now I do not keep any diary or journal or planner. Well, at least a physical one. I miss using one. I miss writing everything in all caps (and admiring my handwriting hahaha). I miss doodling sexy aliens wearing fabulous clothes. I miss noting the day's highlights, like me seeing The Crush or watching a really cool art film.

Now all I have are my gadgets and digital counterparts of a diary/planner/journal.

But that's for another entry.

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