I have to admit that when I watched the 2012 Miss World local beauty pageant, I was rooting for Ross Misa, who ended up as the runner-up. I liked Queneerich, too, but I really wanted Ross to win.

Interestingly, after the pageant, I got to shoot and interview Queneerich for work. After everything, I liked her a bit more, but not enough for me to think that she’d bring home the crown.

It was only when she started posting photos of her Miss World journey on Facebook that I suddenly had the feeling that she’d win—and that she deserves it. She was just so stunning in every photo she posted, even when she was with the other delegates. She just had that radiance, that “I am Miss World 2012” aura—and I wasn’t the only one convinced about her bringing home the bacon, basing on all the likes and the positive comments.

And then that YouTube video of Queneerich beat-boxing for the talent competition went viral. She got noticed even more, and even more people felt that she’d really win the crown now (or at least the Best in Talent award).

During the finals, I stayed away from the internet because I wanted to watch the competition on TV5 and see how our delegate would win it all. I knew the TV station was airing a delayed telecast, but I didn’t mind. While waiting for the show, I was channel-surfing when my sister from her room shouted, “Someone won already, and it’s not Queneerich.”

I totally forgot about being patient and waiting for the delayed telecast. I went to my sister’s room and peered at her laptop. We didn’t even place. We didn’t even Best in Talent. Sure, we made it to the semi-finals, but what’s that???

I was so heartbroken I didn’t watch the competition anymore.

One word: sayang. It was like Nina Ricci Alagao sayang. Or Miriam Quiambao sayang. Or Gwen Ruais sayang. Or Venus Raj sayang. It was just sayang. And sad.

I have been blocking off the whole thing. That’s how frustrated, devastated and affected I am. I just can’t do this right now. I feel like if Queneerich can’t win something like that, after everything that’s happened and all that’s she’s shown, wala na.

Ugh. I just can’t do this right now.

PS, I have a brilliant suggestion: dapat ipagbawal na pasalihin ang host country. That’s all.