I rarely pig out. You can say that I am always on a diet. I watch what I eat, but it’s also important to share that I easily get full and that I am not a big fan of meat; it doesn’t fulfill me.

But when there’s good food in front of me, I go for it. Forget the diet. Forget the vegetarian wannabe in me. Forget the waistline and the weighing scale.

During my stay in Misibis Bay Resort I forgot all those because god food was in front of me all the time, thanks to Chef Ramon Antonio.

Chef Ramon turned me into not just a pig but also a disgusting carnivore, thanks to his never-ending plates of tempting dishes, from the best bistek tagalong that I’ve ever tasted (which required lots of rice, of course) to sweet and spicy spareribs (that called for even more cups of rice).

Chef Ramon is a genius. He surprised us and our palates with creative dishes. For example, he had watermelon bits in the salsa that sat on mussel shells (with the meat, of course), and he served us this hot and sour seafood soup which was like tom yum, but ended up tasting better than tom yum. And I like tom yum ha!

The most memorable dish he prepared for us was sisig. The best sisig in the whole world, to be specific. It had lime juice, cayenne pepper, and cilantro—and it was so flavorful I just had to ask people to please pass the plate of rice several times.

The sisig doesn’t have a name yet, by the way. Members of our team have good suggestions, like Death by Delight, and Cardiac Delight. I think I wanna call it Orgasmic Sisig, or The Best Sisig in the Whole Universe, I Swear—because it really is.

When I grow up, I want to marry someone like Chef Ramon.

Then again, maybe not. I don’t want to end up fat and dead in a couple of months.