Honeybun and I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button the other night and what can I say, I was robbed.

I’ve never read a single work from F. Scot Fitzgerald, who wrote the short story that inspired the movie. I’m not claiming to be a brilliant idea-thinker as well (or worse, that someone stole my idea!). But years ago, I had this idea for a story/movie, something very similar to The Curious Case.

My idea: a story about aging backwards. What made my idea different though is how people are “born” by being spat out from the ground, and “dying” by being eaten by a vagina. I already had scenes in my head: fellow old people at the cemetery waiting for a “newborn”; a baby screaming out his lungs until a vagina eats him. I was also in love with the concept that life starts out pretty difficult (rheumatism, bad eyesight, wrinkles) and eventually turns out into a party (lots of running, lots of candy, lots of playing). I was also very interested in the concept of kids/babies being the parents although I haven’t really thought much about that: how they’d “raise” the “young ones” or how they’d “scold” them, if ever there was a need.

The movie was pretty long for me and my very short attention span. I thought certain parts could have been omitted, such as the war scene in the ocean, especially because they were boring. I guess they wanted to cover all bases and have something for everyone: flirting for the romantics, fight scenes for the butch, topless scenes of Brad for the gay ones.

I found the shift from the storytelling to the actual story confusing and really, the storyteller ending up as one of the actual characters in the story? More used than a whore.

On the upside, I thought Brad’s acting was superb, to think I hate him with so much dedication. Then again, maybe it was just great casting decisions. As usual, Tilda Swinton and Cate Blanchett were eye-popping. They looked delicious and they delivered awesome, convincing performances. I always thought Cate would have made a great queen in Narnia and that Tilda would have made a great queen in LOTR. I wanna see both of them in a scary fairy movie battling each other.

Now that I’ve seen The Curious Case on pirated DVD, I better go to the movie house and watch Marley & Me. Go Team Aniston!