HI, I'M MR. PIGGY

It all started when I went to Cam Sur for an assignment. I was there to check out a bed and breakfast and naturally, I just had to sample the local cuisine during my stay. Bicolanos wanted us to try the specialties. The people from the accommodations and the PR company made sure we’d never get hungry. I myself vowed to try out as much new food as I could.

And so I stuffed myself silly and I gained a few pounds.

The strange thing is that when I got back to Manila, the munching never stopped. I snacked like there was no later. I dragged Honeybun, Anika and even my dad to eat out more often. Honeybun and I had food delivered more frequently. I went to the grocery and bought all these junk food so I wouldn’t need to leave the room and maybe even not consider having food delivered. My plan backfired though – I snacked and still had food delivered. Seconds before this entry I was licking Mr. Chips cheese powder off my fingers, after devouring 2 pili-pastillas tarts, some irresistible suman and a cup of yummy strawberry Jell-O.

And I feel grossed out with all the junk I’ve been stuffing my face coupled with my lack of discipline and control. I feel bad and I know I look bad. I look pregnant – not that being pregnant means looking bad – let’s just say some villain raped me and now I’m expecting.

I have to do something quick. I want to look anorexic again. I need to hear people commending me about how I look thin, about how thin I actually am. Not that something’s wrong with being fat. I am not fat but I have a bulging tummy and I don’t like it when I resemble a tadpole.

So goodbye to the tadpole look. I need to go back to my old ways consisting of fruits and vegetables, gallons of water, jogging, yoga, daily Beyonce dance routines and some Humamet. And then I’ll look like the missing Olsen triplet once again.

Wish me luck, but for now, I still have to finish the three remaining pili-pastillas tarts, which I just have to emphasize are really, really good.