Something very amusing, unexpected, hilarious, awkward and embarrassing happened to me yesterday.

After my haircut, I told my favorite barber that I wanted a half body massage, something that I regularly ask him to do for me.

And so after massaging my face, elbowing my back, thumbing my palms and pinching my fingers, he proceeded to work my chest.

I’ve always found this part of the service a little bit uncomfortable because I consider my chest a bit private – something sexual like my crotch and behind that no one can touch but my partner.

I don’t have anything going on with my barber but yesterday, as he passionately kneaded my chest, hitting my nipples in the process, I couldn’t help but feel a little aroused. Scratch that. Very aroused. So aroused that I had a stiffy. There.

Can you imagine how embarrassing that was? There I was relaxed and reclined, my arms crossed and my eyes covered with a folded face towel – AND I had a hard-on. That never happened to me before. (Ma, you should have stopped reading this a paragraph ago.) The only thing I could do was cross my legs, which I now realize was a bad idea because it reeked of guilt.

I don’t know if my barber sensed my boner but I’m assuming that he did. Now I don’t know how I’ll face him the next time – if I have the balls to face him ever again.